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When Laci heard that his old master and many of the guards had died, he wasn’t terribly upset. He did tell me that he lived 350km from here. I was getting to think Kales 600km radius was closer to the mark.I then worried about just how high the shield would go. Sarah had said that she didn’t feel that she was going through a shield when she left or came back but she only went as high as 8km. JJ said she hadn’t been bothered when she moved her orbit to look for me, and she was 400km up.She said she couldn’t see a shield and that Federation looked just like normal. I stopped worrying. It was only meant to be a magical shield and not a weather one, so it shouldn’t be a bother how high it went, I hope.Mind you, I didn’t give the curvature of the planet much thought at the time either. I had bugger-all knowledge of how that type of shield would work over long distances or if it did have enough energy to surround the planet.Surely it couldn’t do that, could it?Two days later, Daniel turned. And no I don't want a snuggle. Look, can you just fuck off, apparently I'm contractually obliged to answer this sodding letter". Dear Big BuggerFour inches!!! Sorry but you're just going to have to give me a minute whilst I catch my breath. I've known pigs with bigger dicks, and theirs are all corkscrewy. Oh well. Nevermind. There really isn't much point in you going to meet Miss Jiggly Tits with that little Iggle Piggle, she is going to be seriously underwhelmed. But, don't worry, we've got a little time to whip that pocket rocket into shape. Now I'm sure you've seen those adverts for pills in porn mags that will turn your Iggle Piggle into some Godzilla type monster, but believe me, those won't work. What you need is an exercise regime to whip it into shape (not literally, obvs, I can't imagine what good whipping it is going to do). The first step, however, is to build up its core strength and that means working out with weights. The type you get with old fashioned kitchen scales.
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